When my sister and I were still living at home, she ended up getting investigated for a vandalism case. I ended up helping to give the fake cops that were investigating the case the clues that actually allowed them to crack the case in the first place, even though it wasn't entirely intentional. I was told at the end that I should be a detective. My sister ended up getting arrested. I like to think of it as my first unofficial day as a cop.
While driving an Army tank in a town in England, my friend hit a patch of ice and it slid out of control. The only thing that stopped the tank was a display window of a chocolate store. Being the jokester that he is my buddy said to the angry storeowner, “ I’ll buy a kilo of dark chocolate for booty of tour.” The store owner swiftly replied, “for only one kilo, you should have used the front door.”